


It would have been better if you spent the summer writing your dissertation

by Drosolmire



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Gen, Junior Camp Counselors, LMAO, OC's are the new campers, Original Character(s), So yeah, category's probably going to change, this is going to get kinda shippy around chapter 2 or 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 01:46:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15853713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drosolmire/pseuds/Drosolmire
Summary: “But what I’m more concerned about is the fact that dad said we’reworking at a campstarting tomorrow?”“Yep!” Nikki beamed as she fished for something from inside of her shorts “I signed us up as Junior Camp Counselors for Camp Campbell this summer! I had your dad bring the paperwork to David yesterday since you were at one of your classes-““You didwhat?!” shaking Nikki violently as soon as he placed his hands on her shoulders, Neil had this crazed look in his eyes “I had plans for this summer, Nikki! Meticulous, well thought out,elaborate plans!"





	It would have been better if you spent the summer writing your dissertation

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, here's my take on making a sort of future slash Junior Counselor AU for this show.  
> Hope I don't disappoint and I also hope you guys will enjoy!

“Aaand- done!” Neil grinned to himself as he finished writing on the green sticky note in front of him. Admiring his handiwork for a good second or two before raising it up into the air then literally slapping the note on the bulletin board above his work desk, Neil sunk in his chair slightly as he happily double-checked on the various sticky notes that he’s made for himself in the past ten minutes or so.

“I could start working on more research on related literature tomorrow,” making a mental note of that even though he already had a sticky note saying so in front of him, a thought suddenly popped into his mind before Neil had found himself frowning “Wait a minute…”

“It’s summer!” he excitedly proclaimed to no one “I can _finally_ start working on my self-sustained Neilbux trading bot again! Though stocks are abysmally low, I’m sure nothing a little strategic investing couldn’t fix.”

Rubbing at his chin, Neil pushed himself up from his seat as he started digging through the pockets of his pants “Now, where did I last put my dad’s credit card-“ with a snap of his fingers, Neil stuck his tongue out as he remembered _exactly_ where Carl’s credit card was.

Unzipping his pants, Neil pulled them down slightly as he reached inside towards one of the hidden compartments that he had sewn on by himself “Thanks for years of protected lunch money and credit cards, Sewing Camp- look who’s laughing now, Max!“

“Neil!” the door to his room suddenly swung open and in came Nikki with a large grin on her face “We’re having Chinese, your dad just brought home some takeout and there’s a shi-!“

As Nikki flicked the light switch to their room out of muscle memory, she was presented with the sight of Neil reaching down into his pants whilst standing in front of his study desk that housed a lot of papers with lots of writing on them; which she presumed to be his research.

With a shriek, Neil quickly withdrew his hand from inside of his pants and tried to pull them back up; but he just ended up tripping on himself before falling to the ground below with his white underwear completely exposed “Nikki, what the hell?!”

“You’re not going to… _jack off_ to your research again, are you?” Nikki had a grimace on her lips as she pointed towards the organized stacks of papers on Neil’s work desk “I mean, if you aren’t gonna eat yet I think I can just tell mom that you’re busy with, uhh, _stuff_.”

“ _Jack off_ to my research?” standing up from the floor and finally managing to put his pants back on, Neil frowned at Nikki before crossing his arms “I have _never_ jacked off to my research, what are you talking about?!”

“Sure you have,” she leaned on the doorframe before crossing her arms as well “Just the other night when you thought I was sleeping? You even asked me if I was asleep before I started hearing all those _slappy_ sounds and the moaning about some ‘stupid sexy blonde’-“

“You were awake?! I fucking asked you if you were awake and you didn’t answer, God damn it!” Neil felt the blood drain from his face upon the realization that Nikki had actually caught him tugging one out just the other night. Sure he wasn’t doing it to his research papers but it was still a pretty embarrassing realization in and of itself.

“A-ha! So you don’t deny jacking off just the other night!” pushing herself away from the door frame and pointing tauntingly at Neil while a large grin was on her face, Nikki released all her excitement in true Nikki fashion-

“Gotcha bitch!” she started bouncing up and down in her place, jeering at Neil as he begrudgingly made his way towards her.

Groaning, Neil shook his head as he made his way towards the door to their room before flicking the light switch off, leaving his desk lamp to be the only source of light inside “Stop using that meme already, it’s been dead for so long now that every time you say it I can _swear_ that you’re shaving a few seconds off my lifespan.”

“Don’t change the subject, Neil!” Nikki insisted in her teasing as the two of them walked towards the stairs to go down “So why’d you decide to jack off to your research? Was it the numbers? The charts? The figures? The graphs? _Ooh,_ I bet it was the figures!”

As the two of them started going down the stairs, Neil tugged at his hair as Nikki continued to speculate on what reason he was touching himself a few nights ago “Look, I already told you! I didn’t jack off to-“

“Neil, son!” Carl waggled his eyebrows at Neil when he and Nikki had managed to descend the stairs into eyeshot “I brought home some food for you and Nikki since Candy and I are going out for Date Night tonight! Don’t eat everything at once, though, or else you’ll get some nasty MSG poisoning!”

“There’s no such thing as MSG poisoning, dad,” Neil shook his head as another groan escaped his lips “It’s more like a negative placebo effect that’s been instilled in our brains as a last ditch reason to finally go to war with China-“

“Wait, Date Night?” Neil furrowed his brows as he turned his head up to look at his dad. True enough, Carl was sporting probably the most dapper thing Neil has ever seen his dad wear since his bar mitzvah a few years back. Candy’s clothes on the other hand could probably be ripped off of her by a simple evening breeze.

“Again? Didn’t you guys just go out last night?” Neil narrowed his eyes at the two adults before Nikki had nodded her head.

“And the night before?” she tilted her head slightly as she supplemented on Neil’s inquiry. The two teenagers were suddenly curious since it had never once occurred to them how _strange_ it was that their (respective) foster parents were always going out at night together. _Every night._

“Oh, Nicollete, you know Carl and I aren’t going to be young forever, right?” Candy was the one to answer the inquiry as she took a few steps forward to place each of Nikki’s cheeks in either one of her hands “That’s why we’re partying as much as we can- for all of our sakes.”

“Especially since Neil has no game with women and you’re not really interested in getting _boned_ unless it’s by ‘nature’- or whatever that means.” Candy stated a-matter-of-factly as she crossed her arms over her chest, making Carl nod his head in agreement.

“Well, I suppose that’s logical enou- hey, wait a minute!” Neil frowned at Candy before pointing one finger angrily at her “What do you mean I have no game?! I’ll have you know that I have _plenty_ of game, alright?!”

“Speaking of game, how’s the little thing you have going on with that Flower Scout girl, son?” Carl smiled mischievously as Candy let a giggle escape her lips “Last I saw her she was trying to break into you guys’ room through the window when I was taking out the trash last night!”

Neil looked at his father dumbstruck after hearing his words “And you didn’t fucking call the police?! That’s stalking and, and almost breaking and entering, dad!” tugging at the longer curls of his hair, Neil couldn’t believe how bold Tabii’s gotten as of late “It could be classified as _harassment_ , even!”

“Oh, hush, dear,” Candy shook her head as she clicked her tongue “You know how we women are. If we want something, we’ll do _anything_ to get it.” linking one of her arms with Carl’s, she started caressing his chin before opening the door to their house.

“Well, we’ll be back probably early in the morning. Don’t go waiting for us, especially since you’re both starting work at that camp tomorrow,” Carl readjusted his glasses as he let a nervous laugh escape his lips “And don’t forget about the MSG poisoning!”

As the front door slammed shut in front of them, both Neil and Nikki stood slightly dumbstruck in place, with Nikki breaking the silence after a few seconds “Where they talking about Tabii? The one with two i’s?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, she stalks the _hell_ out of me- even to the point where I see her at Uni,” Neil shuddered before turning to look at Nikki, surprising even himself on how quickly he recovered from the revelation “But what I’m more concerned about is the fact that dad said we’re _working at a camp_ starting tomorrow?”

“Yep!” Nikki beamed as she fished for something from inside of her shorts “I signed us up as Junior Camp Counselors for Camp Campbell this summer! I had your dad bring the paperwork to David yesterday since you were at one of your classes-“

“You did _what?!_ ” shaking Nikki violently as soon as he placed his hands on her shoulders, Neil had this crazed look in his eyes “I had plans for this summer, Nikki! Meticulous, well thought out, _elaborate plans!_ Why would you fucking undermine my entire schedule with a single insensitive action?!”

“Oh, come on, Neil!” Nikki laughed as she was still being shaken by her foster brother “I’m sure it’ll be fine! I talked to David on the phone earlier and it seems like Max is gonna be there, too!”

The mention of Max’s name made Neil stop shaking Nikki and he was _actually_ intrigued at the prospect of seeing his cynical, nihilistic friend again. They often interacted online but he would almost always get cussed to hell or be sent random pictures of boobs. It would be refreshing to finally interact personally with Max again.

“I’m listening.” removing his hands from her shoulders, Neil crossed his arms in front of his chest and raised an eyebrow curiously at Nikki. He was still pissed that all of his plans for summer are in the garbage bin but he was thinking that a little fresh air at Camp Campbell wasn’t too bad for a change of pace this one particular summer.

“Apparently, Max has been a Junior Camp Counselor for two straight years now!” Nikki grinned from ear to ear as she brought her hands up in an excited manner “And most of the kids love him for some weird reason, too.” with a furrow of her brows, she started tapping at her chin thoughtfully as she tried to think of the reasoning behind that.

“Probably because he’s not forcing them to do random camp activities like back in our time- ‘cause he’s too busy not giving a shit,” Neil snorted as he rolled his eyes “But then again, I’ve gotten some pretty practical use for the things I’ve learnt from our numerous stays there.”

“Yeah! Especially that one time we had to remove one of Pikeman’s kidneys when he almost died from eating the rat poison that we put in his cranberry pie during the annual Lake Lilac pie eating competition!” Nikki nodded her head enthusiastically, feeling a carnal excitement course through her veins at the thought of finally being ‘one’ with nature again.

“Yeah, that was pretty- wait, I don’t remember that.” Neil furrowed his brows as he racked his thoughts to try and recollect on that specific scenario. All that came to mind regarding Edward was his acne-stricken face.

It made Neil retch.

Shaking his head to dispel the mental image, Neil suddenly remembered something important “Speaking of things I learnt at camp-” Neil unzipped his pants and started reaching for something inside of them, making Nikki frown as she took a step back.

“Uhh, you learned how to _jack off_ at camp?” Nikki looked at her foster brother like he was the most disgusting person on the planet; and that was quite the feat especially since Nikki’s seen a lot of weird stuff so far in her life “I don’t think I want to know _who_ taught you…”

But Nikki’s innately curious nature got the best of her and she inquired anyway “…it was Harrison wasn’t it? Those magic hands aren’t called _magic_ for a reason! Especially from what Nerris has told me-”

“Hell no! Just shut up and let me- there we go!” he grinned triumphantly as he pulled out Carl’s credit card from within the secret compartment inside his pants before raising it up into the air like a religious statue being revered.

“A credit card?” Nikki raised an eyebrow curiously as she noticed the sheen of the plastic card pinched between Neil’s thumb and index finger “You learned how to keep credit cards inside your pants at camp?”

“Not just any credit card- _dad’s_ credit card!” Neil waggled his eyebrows in such a way that wasn’t too dissimilar to how Carl did it “Wanna buy some stuff for camp using this baby?”

A glimmer of excitement shone in Nikki’s eyes as an equally excited gasp escaped her lips “Do I?! Let’s go buy some food- _lots of food!_ ”

Neil snickered as he opened the door to their house “Yeah, what with the shitty rationed food that Camp Campbell’s got, we got to- no, we _need to_ stock up on our supplies to last us the entire summer!”

“Ooh, I want chips! And, and steak! Maybe we could get some Flower Scout cookies! Those are gonna be great to match up to the saltiness of the chips!” Nikki continued to list down the food that she wanted to bring to camp, making Neil shake his head as he locked the door behind him with a laugh.

“Logical reasoning; but I’d rather not get close to any Flower Scout camp- Tabii with two i’s is already on my tail twenty-four seven and I don’t want to risk getting jumped on at their home turf.” he explained with a huff as his eyes shifted slightly around their home. Last he remembered noticing Tabii from earlier this afternoon was her ‘walking by’ with her friends on the other side of the street across from their house.

“Ehh, fair enough,” Nikki shrugged as she and Neil started walking towards the nearest convenience store to their place “Why is she still stalking you until now, anyway? And isn’t she like, too _old_ to be a Flower Scout?” she inquired more out of curiosity than concern.

If Nikki was being completely honest, she found the whole thing hilarious but she _has_ managed to find some mad respect for Tabii’s dogged pursuit for Neil all these years.

With a groan, Neil threw his head back “If I knew I’d already had done something to prevent her from continuing to do so!” although he sounded irritated, a chuckle escaped Neil’s lips anyway before he had stretched one arm outward to flex it “Guess she just can’t resist my sheer _masculinity.”_

Nikki blinked her eyes a few times before a devious smile appeared on her lips “I was under the impression that you _didn’t_ like her stalking you- but I guess it’s the total opposite, ain’t it?” with a gasp, Nikki covered her mouth with her hands “Do you like, _triple like_ her?!”

Neil simply scoffed as a reply “Hell no! I’d wish for nothing but peace and quiet in my life; Tabii with two i’s is just another nuisance on my-“

“Oh! Oh!” Nikki suddenly halted in her tracks and she started tugging at Neil’s sleeve “That’s what you were jacking off to the other night! ‘Stupid sexy blonde’ makes so much sense now ‘cause she’s blonde and, and kinda hot-!“

“No! No! That’s a misunderstanding!” Neil grit his teeth as he slapped his hands over Nikki’s mouth “Don’t you dare bring that subject up again, got it?! I won’t buy you your fucking chips and steak otherwise!”

Pushing away Neil’s hands from her lower face, Nikki furrowed her brows slightly “But that’s your dad’s credit card, not yours.” she then pointed at Carl’s credit card which Neil was holding onto, making him groan out in disbelief.

“That’s not the point here!” pulling her down slightly as he leaned down towards her level, Neil looked around to make sure no one was in the immediate area “We don’t know if… _she’s_ nearby, got it?”

“So if you value my safety and don’t want to see me get assaulted by a girl smaller than me and watch her _succeed-_ you’ll do well to remember that, Nikki.” Neil slightly shook her shoulders with both of his hands, mustering all the seriousness that he can in hopes of getting his point across to Nikki.

“Okay!” Nikki mock saluted at Neil before she grinned widely at him “Though I won’t keep any promises since you getting assaulted by Tabii would probably be _really_ funny to see- even better than that one time that Max fell into the river with Nurf!”

Frowning, Neil shook his head as his shoulders slumped in defeat “Thanks for reassuring me. Guess I’ll just mentally prepare myself if she _does_ jump me a few blocks down, huh?”

“Don’t worry; I swiped Sockrates from your dad’s closet earlier just in case you _do_ get jumped!” Nikki puffed her chest out proudly as she brought out the decorated sock from inside one of her shorts pockets.

“I am equally proud and unnerved by the amount of insight that you needed to prepare Sockrates,” Neil gulped audibly before letting a nervous laugh escape his lips “Well, whatever. Any specific chips you had in mind?”

As Nikki frantically listed off the various different potato and corn chip brands that she could in quick succession, Neil couldn’t help himself from laughing at the sheer absurdity of his current situation-

He had a dissertation to write; though he could easily do that during the next semester. Though it was more because he wanted to finish it quickly to make room for his other intellectual ventures; as he called them. The fact that he and Nikki were going back to Camp Campbell starting tomorrow to work as Junior Camp Counselors was also something he would have never imagined getting himself into.

With how crazy his childhood was at Camp Campbell less than a decade ago, he wouldn’t be surprised if the current kids would give him hell just like he and the other campers of his time gave David and Gwen perpetual headache every waking day of those succeeding summers-

Well, just the first two years or so when he started going to Camp Campbell, to be exact.

David got more expressive as each year went on as he slowly discarded his ‘everything’s okay’ façade while still maintaining a cheery disposition and Gwen didn’t stay so cynical either; actually managing to grow fond of them as each year passed.

The very thought of going back to that chaotic yet equally tender place made a large smile tug at the corners of Neil’s lips as Nikki already segued from food to survival gear on her list of ‘To-buy’s’ for their unplanned Summer outing.

But staying for years on Camp Campbell has made absurdity almost natural for Neil and his friends; and he was _actually_ looking forward to his surprise first day on the job tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's a stretch that Carl and Candy are still together after this long but I just really wanted Nikki and Neil to be foster siblings lmao
> 
> alternate title: Neil-centric ~~Disneyland~~ dismayland


End file.
